It has been couple of days since the last time I wrote. There were many days at nite, when I wanted to write, but I didn't have enough time. Now, I will spend my one hour lunch time.
Yesterday, I was thinking about quotes. There are many quotes from various famous people. I'm sure almost everyone has his/her own favorite quotes. I believe, I have one or more too.
It had happened before, when I think, I finally understood about the quote.
Maybe you are confused of the meaning of the above line. Don't worry. I will explain.
I read a quote, I liked it, I remembered it. I began to say about it. I quoted the quote in my write, or I told to other in my speech. I advised people using it (the quote). Almost everybody understood, agreed, and believed, because it was really a good quote.
Then there were times, when it happened to me. I was in the situation which is as it is describe in the quote, or very close. Or I can say, when the quote is best applied to me or my situation. Can't you understand? (hosh... hosh..).
Ok. Whether you understand or not, I should continue my story. When that happened to me, and I thought about the quote, or someone reminded me to that, that time I finally understood.
For example (for understanding sake), These are common sentences: "We live what we choose.", "It's not what you say, it's what you do.", finally "Life you want is the life you have to make." These 3 sentences I quoted from a song lyric. But I'm sure it's acceptable, understandable, agreeable for most of people.
It's been since a long time I was thinking about my life, how I live it. Several days ago, a friend of mine gave me this song lyric. First, I heard the song. Ordinary, reminded me to the other song. It has a same rhythm. Then I went to the lyric. At the last part, I read those sentences. Perfect! I began to sing along, and then repeated it several times. I thought, I always say to others, that people must work in their field, and what they like. In that way, we can enjoy our work, that is our life. Then I would tell them, "Look at me, I like computer. I studied in the college majoring in IT. Then I work in a company which need my ability in that field. Since I like computer, of course I really enjoy my work."
You want to know what is the real? The real world is, I prefer designing than programming. Oh yeah, I can say this after I tried both. Of course there is still relation from designing to computer. Because nowadays, a designer can use computer to help their work. I already felt the joy of designing for my work, and I already felt the stress coding for my program. But the situation was not always like that.
I rarely sharing with friends asking suggestions. Usually I would go to my brother or sisters. Therefore, no one knew and advised me. I need to thanks to someone, God! Thanks to God for I can advise myself from what other people had learned.
The next day, I told my boss, I wouldn't stay forever in programming. I will as fast as I can change my direction. I said: "I just think I need to tell you this. I tell you so you will know what I really want and enjoy. Don't worry, I will finish my duty first." I told him what I really want. By telling him, I made a move, one step closer to what I wanted. Because if I had never told and spoken, I would never do. If I had never done, then I would never feel the joy of my work, my life.
All because I live what I choose. And this is not what I said, but what I do. I'm making the life I wanted to.
Oops, it's 1.18 PM. I gotta back to my work. (excuses oh... excuses)
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A Time to Write
Today is a holy day for Moslem. I live in Indonesia which most of the population is Moslem. While the rest is Christian, a small part of Buddhism, and very little of Hinduism. And the uncounted with their trust to the God in their way.
I must thank to this holy day for I have time to do what I want to do. Because I'm free from my job as an engineer.
It was started when I was a kid. I started to love to write stories. And my teacher loved to read what I wrote. And then I became more enjoy to write because of the satisfaction I got when they liked it, when they laughed, or with serious face tried to understand the story, or in the face of pity for one of the character. I know it's not a good reason to write if it is not come from myself, but if I rethink it again, it is not so bad if I want to see others, happy for what I had done. So I conclude what I really want for myself or what satisfy me is when others are happy, or helped from what I did, or in other phrase, my job contribute to the civilization, and that makes me feel useful, as human. And then in the end, it come back to myself, that I want to do something useful in my life. And if I can go one step further, I don't need my name to be known or remembered, as long as what I did give something... useful, improvement, and glory, of the human race.
And then, there was time when I was crazy about drawing, math, sport specially badminton, physics, computer, games, math again, physics again, a little writing and drawing, then another kind of games, internet, back to computer, the internet never go away, books (thanks to a friend of mine who was called The Librarian when she was young, who introduced me to reading. Oh yeah, she read everything. if money and time are not a problem, I believe all books, from the crappy one to those that put very nice on the shelf that is titled Bestseller will be bought by her).
And then there were time, when an old friend of mine, who once I respected (because he is the king of the organization where I was one of the small pawn), asked me what my dream is. It's quite a common question lately. I don't know when people start to think if one should have a dream in this life. But for nowadays, I judge that they start reading one of those best seller books and discover that they do need a dream, so they will have a direction in this life, as if they know the direction is a right one, as if there is a point far far from where they are now as a target, as if, anything around where they are now, is less importance.
He introduced me to a book, a book that have a great impact in his life (as he said). He didn't suggested me to read that, but as he introduced it to me, that is all he need. Curious me started to find the book. It took me 2 days to finish it. The book is good, or great even. And the statistic said, it was one of the most sold book on earth.
It wasn't the things it is written that was important, but the writing itself. It reminded me once again, to the joy, the old old joy, once I found in my life. And of course you know, I want to feel it again.
For nothing in this world is easy as we want it to be, I did find many difficulties. If I ever went to hell, since I never, I will use the word as it is described, then, it would be like Hell.
The desire of writing again was started when I was in the last semester of my bachelor degree. And as you know, or if you don't know, here is the fact. The last semester is the most important semester, for it is the time when we spend to write something from what we have learned in the last 3 years. And that task made me have a very little time even only to think about writing. So I decided, once I graduate from this college, that time is when I have a bunch of time to spend, to do what I want to do, include writing. And I hang this desire there, for I know there will be time when I will reach that. Priority just spoke.
Six month passed, and I finished my thesis just as scheduled (for note, through a hard time of course! up and down). I felt relief, and was crazy about the empty space I had in my time. Then the empty space filled up very fast, go went reading, reading, sleep, eat, designing, reading, do fun stuff on the internet, designing, reading, a bit chit chat with friends, and finally I reach the place where once I hanged my desire of writing.
As a beginner of this game, I did gather all the necessary information of writing. From the internet of course, because I don't remember since when, I start very depending (?grammar grammar!) on the internet. I always tell everyone, internet is the big library where you can find anything you want to know. After I read many, well, not so many, tips from various author or one who claim himself/herself a great author, then I came to conclusion, there is nothing as a rule to be a good writer. Most of them have different style, and for you to know, there are indeed nothing in common from what they said as their tips. Best I can do is grouping them in many groups, where each tip from a group have the similarity in the method of writing. But the groups are many, where each group provide very distinct point of view. And the conclusion was there, there are no general rules of writing. So I decided to go on with my style.
First, you will face to choose a topic. A technical guide book which will be filled with step by step learning of some kind of technology will be the very easy one. Why did I say that? Because we write something that is there for us to write. We just need to figure out a good way for the reader to understand and easily learn what we wrote. Just like the series for dummies books. Adding jokes for relaxing. Imagining you are teaching dummies.
A fiction will bring a bit challenge. But for sure, is not based on a true story. Because if it is a true story or based on a true story, it will be just same as the above case, you write something that is already there, you only translate the event into text. Although not as easy as I describe, but in my opinion, a fiction that falls into pure fiction, that comes from an imagination of creativity is in the higher state. Since I couldn't find another state that is higher for that time, I decided to start with what is on the top, from my point of view of course.
Next is about the topic. I needed to choose, a topic about fantasy, stuff that never exist in this world or we had never seen, or about life. I'll tell you, first I decided to stick on life, then I changed to fantasy. Then I went back to life. Why? For the current time, I provide you with the current reason, that life is still mystery, while fantasy is never exists. I will go on with the easy to understand phrase, we can't understand even we tried to, on the other hand, we try to create something that never exists. Creating something that never exists will always give a result, whether it is near the real, the what it should be, the what we want it on the first place, or a bit farther, but it has a result. And then, a mystery is a mystery.
Since I have a free time, the empty space now only filled with writing. I wrote some rather short story about life, love, and sent it to my friend to read. "For the first time shot, it's not bad." That was her comment. And then I went to the second, a rather long, but I had to stop the project, because I was in need of other attention, that was to get a job. Just as other people, after graduated from college, they will educate themselves at the firm, company, and other place. To earn money to support living and to learn new stuff, stuff about life. I found this important because if I couldn't balance this need, I can never write a story.
I managed to get a job, and was employed in a not so big company. I was happy and thought I would have time at night to spend for writing. Then once again I was wrong. I couldn't concentrate on two things at a time. I found myself busy with technical related issues. I spent my time more than I imagined in dedication to my work. Then once again, I felt pity for myself, that have no time to do what I wanted to do.
Now I think I should end this, because not you as reader will be bored for the long story, but I myself start to feel boring. But before I end it, I should put this note. I have a brother and four sisters, means, we are six kids from our parent. We are all separated in a distance place in several countries. And we communicate through mail, electronic mail of course, or email. Lately, there was hot topic in our discussion, that is about blog. You can imagine yourself, I end up here. Or I can rephrase, I started here. :-)
PS: Forgive for my poor English, for I was born and living in the country where we communicate in other language. (excuses oh... excuses)
I must thank to this holy day for I have time to do what I want to do. Because I'm free from my job as an engineer.
It was started when I was a kid. I started to love to write stories. And my teacher loved to read what I wrote. And then I became more enjoy to write because of the satisfaction I got when they liked it, when they laughed, or with serious face tried to understand the story, or in the face of pity for one of the character. I know it's not a good reason to write if it is not come from myself, but if I rethink it again, it is not so bad if I want to see others, happy for what I had done. So I conclude what I really want for myself or what satisfy me is when others are happy, or helped from what I did, or in other phrase, my job contribute to the civilization, and that makes me feel useful, as human. And then in the end, it come back to myself, that I want to do something useful in my life. And if I can go one step further, I don't need my name to be known or remembered, as long as what I did give something... useful, improvement, and glory, of the human race.
And then, there was time when I was crazy about drawing, math, sport specially badminton, physics, computer, games, math again, physics again, a little writing and drawing, then another kind of games, internet, back to computer, the internet never go away, books (thanks to a friend of mine who was called The Librarian when she was young, who introduced me to reading. Oh yeah, she read everything. if money and time are not a problem, I believe all books, from the crappy one to those that put very nice on the shelf that is titled Bestseller will be bought by her).
And then there were time, when an old friend of mine, who once I respected (because he is the king of the organization where I was one of the small pawn), asked me what my dream is. It's quite a common question lately. I don't know when people start to think if one should have a dream in this life. But for nowadays, I judge that they start reading one of those best seller books and discover that they do need a dream, so they will have a direction in this life, as if they know the direction is a right one, as if there is a point far far from where they are now as a target, as if, anything around where they are now, is less importance.
He introduced me to a book, a book that have a great impact in his life (as he said). He didn't suggested me to read that, but as he introduced it to me, that is all he need. Curious me started to find the book. It took me 2 days to finish it. The book is good, or great even. And the statistic said, it was one of the most sold book on earth.
It wasn't the things it is written that was important, but the writing itself. It reminded me once again, to the joy, the old old joy, once I found in my life. And of course you know, I want to feel it again.
For nothing in this world is easy as we want it to be, I did find many difficulties. If I ever went to hell, since I never, I will use the word as it is described, then, it would be like Hell.
The desire of writing again was started when I was in the last semester of my bachelor degree. And as you know, or if you don't know, here is the fact. The last semester is the most important semester, for it is the time when we spend to write something from what we have learned in the last 3 years. And that task made me have a very little time even only to think about writing. So I decided, once I graduate from this college, that time is when I have a bunch of time to spend, to do what I want to do, include writing. And I hang this desire there, for I know there will be time when I will reach that. Priority just spoke.
Six month passed, and I finished my thesis just as scheduled (for note, through a hard time of course! up and down). I felt relief, and was crazy about the empty space I had in my time. Then the empty space filled up very fast, go went reading, reading, sleep, eat, designing, reading, do fun stuff on the internet, designing, reading, a bit chit chat with friends, and finally I reach the place where once I hanged my desire of writing.
As a beginner of this game, I did gather all the necessary information of writing. From the internet of course, because I don't remember since when, I start very depending (?grammar grammar!) on the internet. I always tell everyone, internet is the big library where you can find anything you want to know. After I read many, well, not so many, tips from various author or one who claim himself/herself a great author, then I came to conclusion, there is nothing as a rule to be a good writer. Most of them have different style, and for you to know, there are indeed nothing in common from what they said as their tips. Best I can do is grouping them in many groups, where each tip from a group have the similarity in the method of writing. But the groups are many, where each group provide very distinct point of view. And the conclusion was there, there are no general rules of writing. So I decided to go on with my style.
First, you will face to choose a topic. A technical guide book which will be filled with step by step learning of some kind of technology will be the very easy one. Why did I say that? Because we write something that is there for us to write. We just need to figure out a good way for the reader to understand and easily learn what we wrote. Just like the series for dummies books. Adding jokes for relaxing. Imagining you are teaching dummies.
A fiction will bring a bit challenge. But for sure, is not based on a true story. Because if it is a true story or based on a true story, it will be just same as the above case, you write something that is already there, you only translate the event into text. Although not as easy as I describe, but in my opinion, a fiction that falls into pure fiction, that comes from an imagination of creativity is in the higher state. Since I couldn't find another state that is higher for that time, I decided to start with what is on the top, from my point of view of course.
Next is about the topic. I needed to choose, a topic about fantasy, stuff that never exist in this world or we had never seen, or about life. I'll tell you, first I decided to stick on life, then I changed to fantasy. Then I went back to life. Why? For the current time, I provide you with the current reason, that life is still mystery, while fantasy is never exists. I will go on with the easy to understand phrase, we can't understand even we tried to, on the other hand, we try to create something that never exists. Creating something that never exists will always give a result, whether it is near the real, the what it should be, the what we want it on the first place, or a bit farther, but it has a result. And then, a mystery is a mystery.
Since I have a free time, the empty space now only filled with writing. I wrote some rather short story about life, love, and sent it to my friend to read. "For the first time shot, it's not bad." That was her comment. And then I went to the second, a rather long, but I had to stop the project, because I was in need of other attention, that was to get a job. Just as other people, after graduated from college, they will educate themselves at the firm, company, and other place. To earn money to support living and to learn new stuff, stuff about life. I found this important because if I couldn't balance this need, I can never write a story.
I managed to get a job, and was employed in a not so big company. I was happy and thought I would have time at night to spend for writing. Then once again I was wrong. I couldn't concentrate on two things at a time. I found myself busy with technical related issues. I spent my time more than I imagined in dedication to my work. Then once again, I felt pity for myself, that have no time to do what I wanted to do.
Now I think I should end this, because not you as reader will be bored for the long story, but I myself start to feel boring. But before I end it, I should put this note. I have a brother and four sisters, means, we are six kids from our parent. We are all separated in a distance place in several countries. And we communicate through mail, electronic mail of course, or email. Lately, there was hot topic in our discussion, that is about blog. You can imagine yourself, I end up here. Or I can rephrase, I started here. :-)
PS: Forgive for my poor English, for I was born and living in the country where we communicate in other language. (excuses oh... excuses)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Axiom
Birth is not caused by death and will not produce death.
Birth is not a beginning and death is not the end.
Same as life is not the middle in between.
If I think, I will one step advance.
If I think again, I will go back to the original state.
Action force doesn't produce reaction force.
Both happen in the same moment.
Evil is not Good's enemy, they complete each other.
If there is no general truth, then there will be no life guidance.
There is no life guidance is a general truth.
Words above sometimes right, sometimes wrong.
If you understand, then you don't understand.
If you don't understand, then you understand.
Birth is not a beginning and death is not the end.
Same as life is not the middle in between.
If I think, I will one step advance.
If I think again, I will go back to the original state.
Action force doesn't produce reaction force.
Both happen in the same moment.
Evil is not Good's enemy, they complete each other.
If there is no general truth, then there will be no life guidance.
There is no life guidance is a general truth.
Words above sometimes right, sometimes wrong.
If you understand, then you don't understand.
If you don't understand, then you understand.
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