I Believe There is Love

Like the title, of course I believe, and I'm sure everyone is. But if you think deeper, I'm sure you will arrive at the question, is there an everlasting love. Why do we need an everlasting one? This question is new to me. But I believe when love is gone, both side will be hurt, or, at least one of the two will get suffered.

Once I gone out with a girl that I must admit I didn't love. Well, I don't want to explain the reason. Sometimes I doubt if I can use this word, Love. Because I think I don't understand what is that. In other occasion, my other x: "Do you really love me?". Me: "No.". Ok, then we broke. Now I think I should explain why that answer got out from my mouth. This is not my defense, but a point of view of mine, I don't think I can love her really when I don't even know how or what the real love is. It was tragic.

There is funny story, I always told my girls, that I don't need to say it every time. "I love you." I told them, love is not only from mouth, of what we said. If I say "I love you so much" doesn't mean I really love you so much. Because I or other people can only lie. Then rather than asking those question "Do you love me?", you'd better conclude yourself if I love you from what I had done. Or, I prefer action than talk.

Whats the funny part? If I ask my x, most of them said that I was too cool to show my feeling in action. And whats that mean? I refuse to keep saying those word, and I didn't even show it in my action. That makes them think or doubt even, if I ever really loved them.

Well, now I'd learned. They need both talk and action.

Sometimes I like to wandering, is there really a couple that love each other till old and die, moreover, in this day, I doubt more.

I had loved, and been loved. I saw a pattern. It is sweet in the beginning. Bored in the middle. You can decide your ending. But after those many times, I still have a little hope, that there is indeed an everlasting love. Ok. I don't ask you to agree or oppose. Because I know, you don't know yourself. Even a 60 years old human can only give his/her opinion base on his/her own life experience. And thanks, but I know, everybody have their own story.

If there is really a true love in this world, I want to give it a try. Yeah lol, of course, not only me, everybody want it. Ok, not everyone, but most of the human being. There is always a mutant. Now I'm trying to find, or at least I hope there is. Because I think if I live as human only to satisfy other people, seem useless. If I get married only to satisfy my parent, I'd better not. If in the end, I couldn't find someone I love, I'd better not to get married. I will let other people think that I'm weird. I will conclude they are only a group of people that never think further, or a group of people that too care for other opinion, or scared of being the topic of gossip.

But sometimes I doubt about how long I can stay like this. I mean think like this, or in other word, strong like this. Will I feel lonely when I'm older because I don't have another person to live with, or to share, or to defend, to care, to love, love, to defend, to die for?

My friend told me to open my heart. Ehm.. how? My nephew just opened his heart in the surgery. Thanks to everybody that pray for him. Now he is ok.

I follow the trend. The trend is, people like to read about love. I provide them.